not fancy the men around them

Circle of life is simple, not fancy the men around them, and friends, and good, and I look down, so I shake the 2 years.
　　Later, a department colleague introduced me to his buddy, estimates are too swore my colleagues said, let me wary look down, feel better man, a man in humble down. I'm just working outside, although the work is good, but the lack of a sense of belonging. I think the beginning of this feeling has been that I was weak on the side, I attributed to my colleagues all the praise, not seen before, took the man boast of particularly good. (In fact, he does not like other people to introduce me before, but I was very weak, I do not recognize the outside, no better recognition of your much to complain, I just think he should go onto a high, I do not know me where on this ideas)
　　I am 84, he 80, I do project budget, he plans to do online games. Later analysis, he was attracted to me, is his home in the local, His family lived in that old house, no additional housing or cars, I might have a person in the field, too lonely, I need friends in the side of feeling, I think I lack that feeling.
　　The total felt like a black hole, requires a lot of emotion to fill my heart.
　　Then I dived headfirst down, I feel strongly is the seventh person, the first time I saw him, I feel like a bad person, but I did not think carefully. So on a lot of good details, I now call him a friend slut.
　　But I still expect that he loved me. But not likely. Because we haveseparated7 months.
　　When he and I talked about, very good to me, I feel very happy (I exclude his things to make peace, do not know why) but there is a hardship, and mixed with deceit ah, ah hide.